SINGLE & NOT LOOKING –for the first time in my life
I’m Single and Not Looking — for the First Time in My Life
(And honestly? It’s not a glow-up. It’s a timeout.)
Let me start with the obvious:
I’ve been in love my entire adult life.
Falling, breaking, fixing, forgiving, repeating — like clockwork.
If love were a sport, I’d have a gold medal for endurance and bad decisions.
But this season?
This version of me?
I’m not looking.
Not scrolling.
Not revisiting old texts under the excuse of “just checking in.”
I’m single — and not even trying to romanticize it.
Heartbreak will do that to you.
Not the cinematic kind either — the kind that rearranges your nervous system.
The kind that makes you forget to eat, makes Target feel like a minefield,
and makes every love song sound like it’s clowning you.
After enough of those, you stop chasing the next “almost.”
This isn’t bitterness. This is bandwidth.
I’m just tired.
Tired of performing healing before I’ve even rested.
Tired of pretending independence feels empowering every day.
Tired of calling pain a “lesson” when sometimes it’s just pain.
I go to work.
I walk my dogs.
I eat cereal for dinner and write poems that I might never finish.
I’m not healed.
I’m not taking myself on dates or buying flowers as a symbol of self-love.
I’m just surviving with some dignity this time.
That’s my version of progress.
I’ve spent two decades being a girlfriend, a fiancée, a caretaker, a rebound, a reason, a muse.
And while all that made for award-winning poetry, it also made me exhausted.
Exhausted from auditioning for love.
Exhausted from editing myself to sound softer, safer, smaller.
Exhausted from mistaking attachment for connection.
Now, I’m not chasing clarity — I’m clocking in.
I show up for my work, my art, my dogs, my peace — however fragile she is.
I meditate sometimes. I forget to breathe other times.
I text my therapist more than I text my crushes.
That’s where I’m at.
People keep asking if I’m dating.
And I smile — that “don’t make me cuss in this Whole Foods” kind of smile.
Dating right now feels like grocery shopping when you’re full —
you don’t even want it.
You just want to get home before something spoils.
Maybe one day I’ll want love again.
When it feels less like a job interview or trauma swap.
But right now, I’m dating stability.
And she’s not sexy — but she shows up.
So no, I’m not healed.
I’m not half-available or half-hoping somebody’s daughter knows how to handle me.
I’m just here.
Breathing.
Working.
Not pretending that peace is easy.
Because the real flex isn’t being “over it.”
It’s finally being honest enough to admit —
I’m still in it.
And that’s okay.
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🌸Today is the last day of Grammy Voting, Round-1! My album "A Hurricane In Heels: healed people don't act like that" is up for Grammy Consideration in the Spoken Word-Poetry category!
*If you haven't already closed your ballot, I'd be honored if you'd take a listen - 🎧 https://unitedmasters.com/m/ahurricaneinheelsforyourgrammynominationqueensheba
ATL Friday OCT 17th TEDxGeorgiaCollege talk!
Wish me luck! Tickets are still available:
*Poetry vs. Hip-Hop 10th Anniversary is THIS weekend!
ATL Friday OCT 17th & Sat 18th Poetry vs Hip-Hop
Tix> https://citywinery.com/atlanta/event-series/poetry-vs-hiphop
The featured artist line-up is crazy!!!
Friday = Poets vs. Poets & MCs vs MCs
Saturday = The finals, awards, tribute to Minister Server & more!
Hosted by: Tony Award Winning Poet Georgia Me, Emmy Award Winning Poet Bluz, ATL News First TV Personality Andrew Tyree, live music, live painting & more!
Can't make it? Send PvHH a donation!
$poetryvshiphop2015 - Cashapp
poetryvshiphop@gmail.com - Zelle
Join our community: @thequeensheba @poetryvshiphop
Queen Sheba’s Golden Year:
TEDx Talk, New Book, New Album
up for Grammy® Consideration!
Queen Sheba holds an MFA
in Creative Writing & poetry from Queens University of Charlotte
is a 2025 & 2024 Grammy®-Nominated Spoken Word-Poet, TEDx speaker,
author, professor, 2x NAACP Image award nominee,
and the founder of Poetry vs. Hip-Hop®.
A proud member of the Atlanta Recording Academy Chapter
Atlanta’s Alternate ROOTS & LGBT COMMUNITY.
Sheba has toured the world for 24 years,
speaking on stages from The Apollo,
the Ethiopian Embassy in DC,
to a personal invite from the Antigua government.
With powerful delivery, mastery of storytelling,
and unapologetic cultural commentary,
Queen Sheba continues
to set the standard
for excellence in contemporary poetry.
Support Queen Sheba’s Journey:
Media interviews, sponsorships, features,
and funding support is always welcome.
Press Release - A Hurricane In Heels - New album!
Press Release - When Overnight Success is Really 24 Years
in the Making
